Aging & Knowledge

Age and Knowledge

I used to like going to see my grandmother in the old folks home as a kid. She would always have something good to eat and if lucky would give me a enough money to go to the swimming pool (not to often though) . I never had a chance to really get to know my grandfather well (Ambrose, pictured below) as he passed away when I was pretty young and never knew a lot of my grandmothers second husband.

I do remember so well helping our granddad put the hymns books out as they always had a Sunday service at the home for the seniors.

Even when our dad was in the care of the hospital for a few years, going to visit him was so wonderful, and we used to get involved with a few of the activities they had to occupy the seniors, like bingo haha. Really never gave it much thought on why so many seniors still try to have some type of quality of life by living in these senior facilities. As most of them really don’t know where they are and their minds are in a different place.

However, a few weeks ago, I went with my wife to visit her mom in the seniors home. Again most of them just aren’t with us in mind but are there just in body. Some can’t walk and some call out for family members that probably don’t come often to visit. But some do have their mind just not their body to go with it. (just like my mother-in-law).

As we are all aging and we have the opportunity to go to these facilities to see how we may end up being like, we need to understand that we could learn something from these folks. So sad to see some of them, but some have lived a wonderful life, some were in the army and fought for our countries, farmers, teachers, mom’s and dad’s, some were a pillar in their own communities. Now some are like infants again and need 24 hour care.

On this one visit I was sitting in the tv room (where I sometimes can sneak a nap in), again there were a few of the folks staring at the tv and probably not really understanding what they were watching.

This particular visit I had the opportunity to meet a lady her names was Agnes, she was in a wheelchair but she was well dressed and had some great jewelry on. Giving me the impression she lived a good life financially, she struck me that she could have been a teaching at one time.

I asked Agnes how she was and she was very surprised that I would speak to her. She said to me “I am a very bad women” and repeated this to me a few times. She told me her daughter recently got married and she never knew about until a week after the wedding. I felt bad for her.

She also struck me as maybe a stern woman in her day. We visited for sometime and I knew she appreciated someone taking their time to speak with her.

After this visit with Agnes, I really had a few things to think about. Maybe Agnes has a lot of regrets as well and the disappointment of not attending her own daughters wedding or they didn’t want her there, maybe this was resonating with her.

I learnt something that day, that I hope I don’t have regrets that I carry with me into my elder year like Agnes. I do have a number of regrets and one is that I missed so much of my children’s life, maybe that will never go away, but all I can do now is try harder.

You see aging I believe is for all of us to reflect hard on, maybe we age to help give people a lesson in being compassionate or maybe we will understand that these people aren’t just old folks but people who have something to give us. I firmly believe these folks whether they are at home or in a seniors home, we can learn something from them all. Some of these folks have some great stories to share, or they are lonely and just want someone to take some time to say hello and visit with them.

I hope as I age that the younger people take the time for me, we do have some knowledge to share with the younger generation, we have travelled to several different countries and have seen wealth and poverty at the same time. We have also made a number of mistakes and there was no re-do’s either.

So take the time if you can to speak to some of us aging folks, maybe even myself need to volunteer a few hours a month and spend time with some of these folks.

As we will all age and maybe lonely to have someone come and visit and take even 5 minutes to say hello and listen to what they have to say.

The gentleman on the right (with the glasses) is my granddad (Ambrose).